Acquisition
So the millenium was winding to a close and I am on a Greyhound bus to go see my father in Prescott, Arizona. I don't get to see him that much so it will be nice, and it gives meaning to an otherwise uneventful and lonely Christmas holiday. There is however, a little extra incentive. He has promised me his BMW 320i!

Now up until a few weeks ago, I was pretty much clueless about BMW's other than the fact that I knew I wanted a mid 90's M3. When Dad expressed his intentions, I was VERY excited. A BMW - now that's got some class! I started looking around and saw some really nice pictures of 320i's on the net - mid 90's. Well I asked him what year it was and he said 1983. Now that's 3 years older than my current car, a 1986 Honda CRX, but, it IS a BMW so why not. I looked around the internet harder and found some pictures of various E21's in different stages of disrepair. I was a little demotivated, but hey, it'll be a practically free car, and it's a BMW. So I'm, on the bus and forcing myself to sleep so I don't have to deal with the rather odd assortment of holiday bus travelers.

After about 16 hours and 3 bus changes, I'm in Phoenix (I love the desert) and there he is to pick me up. He came in a limo so I'll have to wait to see the bimmer. We decide to go to Burger King and eat lunch. I rode in the far back and he drove and opened the door for me, so yeah, I played it up a little even though we were at The Home of the Whopper. Up into the mountains we go and after about 90 minutes we're home and there she is. Silver, beautiful, sunroof, tinted windows, starts right up, tires are inflated, it passes my test for $100 cars. My visit with Dad went fine and I winced as he really revved up the bimmer when we'd drive around, but I said nothing. The engine sounded good and the transmission was smoothe too. It should be a nice ride back to Houston. I almost spent the night in the passenger seat just admiring the car.

Naturally, I was beginning to form a mental checklist to turn it into the "babemobile" as the roundels dictated and the list was growing a little too fast, but hey - it's a BMW. The dashboard was covered with an aftermarket cloth piece to hide about 20 cracks, I can't open the passenger door from the inside, the sunroof is non-functional and the generic AM/FM/Tape player only plays from 1 rear speaker and won't take tapes. "Minor issues," I think to myself and the dream grows (anything is better looking my CRX that I left unlocked in a parking lot on a bad side of town daring anyone to take it). Soon the day had come - the morning of December 30, 1999 we set off. My dad gave it a "farewell drive" to Phoenix and would hop a little charter flight back to Prescott. It was sad to say goodbye to him but the sadness quickly went away as I put in the key for the first time and turned it on. A mild transmission oil smell had been growing on the trip to Phoenix but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, just a hot engine.

"Eastbound and down, rollin' up and truckin', we gotta do the best that can be done...", a song from Smokey and the Bandit was in my head playing as loud as the smile on my face as I took I-10 East back to Houston. I'm not used to a car turning 3000rpm at 60 but that's fine. The hours tick by and I stop to refuel. When I get out I can really smell that transmission, but I suppose that's typical of a hot car. I've never really driven a standard that far but once and it was an American car so I had no comparative reference. I took my time and nightfall came and I was in west Texas and through El Paso around 1:00am December 31st, 2001. New Year's day-eve, baby! Woohoo! The roads in west Teaxs get really hilly and there is absolutely NOTHING between El Paso and San Antonio, so my mind gets to wandering and I am thinking about how I can win back my ex-grilfriend by proposing to her. Up yet another big hill and the engine starts revving up really fast so I let off the gas. Wait a minute, that's the clutch slipping! Well since it just started, I should be ok since Texas is mostly flat and this is probably the last big hill. Well, it wasn't. The hills were endless and with each new one, the clutch slipped more. My max spped went from 60 to 50 to 40 to 30 uphill and the 18 wheelers were passing me. Now the transmission stink was getting really REALLY bad and I could feel some serious heat coming from under the floorboard. I pulled over to the side of the road to make sure I wasn't on fire. I got out and a LOT of stinky smoke came out from unerneath the car. That's gearbox oil for sure burning like crazy. I suppose the slipping clutch was really heating up the transmission so I let everything cool down for about 30 minutes.

After calming myself down upon realizing I had about $70 to make it to Houston, plus a little on the checkcard, I started the car up and off we went. At first the clutch wasn't slipping any longer and if I can just make it to Houston, then I'll be fine. Well the next 35,000 %$#@# hills in what was supposed to be nice, FLAT Texas made the clutch slip and the roasted fluid smell returned. After another hour I was really becoming paranoid. Time for another cool-down period and I pulled over at one of those reststops. As I took the car out of gear and coasted into the rest area, in the middle of nowhere, I released the clutch and the back tires locked up quickly then broke free and the car started bucking. WTF, I have a bad feeling about this. I shut the car off and was greeted again with massive plumes of white smoke coming from under the car. I decide to get a closer look so I go to the trunk for the jack. Nope, no jack. Now isn't that special. After a few LARGE sighs and another 30 minutes, I start the car. As I release the clutch in neutral, the engine dies. I repeat the process and give the engine more gas. The engine dies. I put it in first, push in the clutch and start the engine. I release the clutch and the transmission makes a loud snap and the engine dies. At this point in time I really don't like the pattern developing, especially now that I have to stay in the car because it's 40 degrees outside and I'm in the middle of nowhere and I'm sure everyone's sound asleep at 3:30am. Well I'm just about out of options. I'm sure the gearbox is almost permanently locked up, so I yank the car out of first and start it. I put it in reverse and release the clutch. To my surprise, the car bucked a little, went backwards and locked up again. Back to first. Nothing. It's areal pain to get it out of first now so I really give it the gas and engage the clutch at 4000rpm and the car moves forward a little and bucks and stops. I'm not going anywhere. I grab a coat and start looking for payphones. Towtruck companies usually will have a name-stamping contest on them to benefit people in my current situation. Well the first payphone is blank. Bad bad bad bad... The second one has a number but it's very old looking and my flashlight just died. The number is long distance so I dig what little change I have left out and make the call. Ring, ring, ring, ring, etc. They either don't exist or are sleeping. Finally a voice answers. I basically say something to the extent of "I'm screwed, please help me" and did my best to descibe my location to the old country voice on the other end of the line with my own voice shaking, mostly from the cold and mostly from desperation. He assures me he'll be here in an hour. An hour? To me that means an hour of towing which usually means more money than I have. I wait in my "well it's a BMW" forever. I look at every pickup that drives by having no idea what kind of tow vehicle it will be. Since almost everyone in west Texas drives a pickup, I was quite busy, and feeling all the more hopeless. Finally I see an old (early 60's) Chevy pickup pull a U-turn and come up to me. An old WWII vet gets out and assesses the situation. I ask him about the local garages and basically engage in introductory conversation. He hooks it up to the rear tow hooks with my permission and I get to watch as the rear valence below the bumber gets bent way out of shape from the tow chains. The tow truck has a heater and at this point in time, that's all I care about.

More to come on the day of New Year's Eve!